Day 30: a picture of yourself this day and 5 good things that happened since you started the challenge

I literally just took this picture in the middle of the tutoring center at my college.  I tried to act like a ninja when I was taking it- did it work?  I find it so crazy that 30 days have already gone by, I feel like I started this challenge yesterday and now I’m done.  I think it feels a little bitter sweet to be typing up my last post.  On one hand I’m happy that I don’t have to blog everyday, but on the other hand, I don’t have to blog everyday!  And I feel like being forced to blog helped me in a million different ways.  Now unto 5 good things that happened to me since I started this 30 day challenge.

1.  InterVarsity used one of my blog posts.

I wrote about InterVarsity and strangely enough, InterVarsity found my blog and not only asked to use it, but have me write for them this summer.  I’ve only written one other post for them so far but I find this such an incredibly humbling experience.  And I’m so grateful to be used by God in this capacity.  I never considered myself a writer, but I did believe I had something interesting to say.  And the amazing thing about God is that he calls you just to be called, he’ll qualify you and do the rest.

2. I turned nineteen

I know that sounds stupid, but not a lot of people can say they lived to be nineteen years old.  So many people die young or tragically and I was blessed to live yet another year of my life.  I’m thankful for that.

3.  I had the most productive summer of my life

I’m not even halfway through but regardless of whether of not I pass this seemingly impossible math class, I’ve learned and done so much this summer.  Most times during the summer I bum around each day and do nothing but right now I can’t remember a time I’ve worked harder really.  And the the thing is I don’t even do that much, which speaks to my work ethic.  Or lack there of.  But I’m learning that it’s okay to take breaks sometimes.  As well as the fact that one cannot be working all day long.  I think its ingrained in our brains that something is wrong if we’re not always working.  That we’re procrastinating and wasting our precious lives away!  But most people procrastinate.  Maybe we should stop spending so much time complaining about doing nothing and just work hard whenever we do work.

4. I stopped caring a little more.

Again this sounds so counter intuitive, but not caring about the small stuff really changed my outlook on life.  I stopped letting myself engage in petty drama that’s around me.  I stopped caring about whether or not I was coming off a certain way.  And in turn I started caring about just being a good person and relying less on these superficial things like the name of the brands that I wear.  Learning to let go and not care is revealing and ultimately releasing.

5.  I’m going on a mission trip to Guyana.

I think normally I would have been too afraid of being unqualified to go.  But I’m going because I feel like God has called me to do this!  I plan on blogging about experiences when I get the chance, so check back if you want to hear from me.

Day 28: Something that stresses you out

I find the timing of this post really funny, I have just a week before my math final and it is STRESSING ME OUT!  I think that all finals in general stress me out, but more so its the anticipation and fear.  Really that’s what anything in life really comes down to, fear.

I’m afraid of going for my final and realizing I know nothing.  I’m afraid of finding out whether or not I failed.  And waiting on these things turns me green with anticipation and STRESS!  Oh the stress.

The thing is, fear is crippling.  Fear can hold us back in so many different ways.  When I think back on this week, I’ve turned down at least 4 people I really wanted to spend time with because even if I procrastinate, I feel guilty having fun the week before my final.

It’s really stupid because I end up doing nothing all day anyway.  I just don’t want to allow myself the enjoyment of the company of my friends.

I remember going for my last math final and being so stressed out right before.  The final ended up being CRAZY easy and I passed with flying colors.  But right before I felt like I was going to puke.  All this anticipation was leading up to this one moment and when this moment came I didn’t really know what to do.

Because getting my final wasn’t really an awe inspiring moment.  I got my test, started and finished it like I would any other test.  Only difference was I actually really knew my stuff this time around.

It stresses me out that blackboard isn’t showing my final exam prep videos and that less and less time is there for me to study.  But it’s not until this stress really motivates me that I actually stop messing around and focus.  So I guess in many ways stress can be a really great thing.  It’s an amazing motivator for so many different reasons.