How do we represent God in our daily lives? How can we attract others to him? Click here to listen to my speech about the “Qualities of Fishers of Men”.
Urbana 2015 challenged participants to answer the question -what story wIll you tell? This is my story.
During one of the plenary sessions, David Platt illustrated the problem I was facing in my life without realizing it “There are students who are trying to manufacture a heart for missions but do not have a heart for Jesus”.
I was a student leader within my InterVarsity Christian Fellowship chapter and had served on the Leadership team for 2 years, at one point I got so caught up in the logistics, goals, deadlines and expectations artificially placed in front of me that that I forgot the one thing that mattered- did I love God? Not, did I fear God, did I acknowledge him, did I do my quiet time with him, did I serve him, but instead- did I love him?
In the prayer room I prayed with a woman about my confusion and fear and she reminded me that confusion and fear are not from God, but from the enemy. I had received so many prophecies about doing missions work that I felt confused about how my current path of teaching intersected with missions- or if it did at all. .
The woman leading me in prayer asked me- “What do you hear God saying?”. I realized that my confusion stopped me from listening. In tears, I felt the condemnation of forgetting my first love but it was only in the prayer room that I felt God say my work had not been in vain- that he loved and forgave me. I was ready for my punishment but was met instead by my father God’s forgiveness.
At the end of Urbana I signed up for short, mid and long-term missions. I’m not sure what that will look like in the near future but I know God is using my journey as a Special Education teacher to glorify him. At Urbana I was shocked to see the need for Special Education teachers overseas, I never imagined how perfectly God could use my gifts for his glory. I now realize God is going to use me, but before any of that begins I need to remember that everything is meaningless without my love for him.
Too often I expect to see my big story now. But I forget that we are all on a journey. Joseph saw a vision of his brothers bowing down and worshipping him as a king but his call from God didn’t come to fruition for years later and the years of toil and hardship were all in preparation for a greater calling. This was something I learned after listening to a sermon from Pastor Felix Chivandire back when I first made the decision to be a teacher.
What I learned at Urbana doesn’t stop here, my work means nothing if it all ends here. This isn’t a mountain top experience- Urbana was my launching pad. As my friends, my readers, my family- hold me accountable. More than my plan for missions, I never want to forget my love for God.