Practicing what you preach

I’m a prayer group leader at my InterVarsity chapter and just now I have been handed a figurative smack in the face.  I had a really dull moment and realized that I wasn’t practicing what I was preaching.  Not just that, I wasn’t even close to where I was saying others should be in their walks with christ.  And I felt like such a hypocrite.  I think that when I took up this position I imagined I would have to be perfect, infallible, and be at this peak with my walk with God.  But I started writing this post right before my prayer group this past thursday.  I ended up sharing how I was feeling and realized I didn’t have to be perfect.  I was met by so much support from people who said they have all been where I felt like I was at the moment.

Earlier this week as a team (small group team) we looked at the passage in which Jesus calms the storm.  What I found so ironic was the fact that here I was stressing and worrying about my own problems and forgetting what I had just learned.  One of my team members pointed it out to another member but someone it just hit me so hard.  How could I miss out on such an amazing message?

In this passage the disciples almost accuse Jesus crying out “Teacher don’t you care if we drown” when they are met by this massive storm that almost overfills the boat.  The funny thing is Jesus was sleeping on a CUSHION right before.  And before they could say anything else Jesus pulls a Chuck Norris move and calms the sea just by speaking.

How many times have we felt like that before in our life?  Like the waters are overwhelming and we can’t stay afloat any longer?  But the thing is God was always in control from the start.  He has always been in control, will be in control and is in control right now.  We never have to worry.  For the opposite of love is not hate but fear because perfect love casts out al fear.  We create this divide between us and God when we allow ourselves to be afraid like this.  We are created to do so much more and be so much more in our lives.

I wrote this post feeling like a hypocrite but I realize now that I am just growing.  I am not at a “peak” with my relationship with God, you cannot reach a peak and you can always know more and grow closer.  I want to draw closer now and remember everything I learn.  Because Jesus calms the storm and he can calm your storm too.  Just give him full control.

Day 24: Something you’ve learned

Something that I’ve learned over the course of the past 24 days, or more so my life, is that you can never make some one love you.  And I don’t just mean this romantically.  All relationships, be it between family members, friends or romantically require the cooperation of two separate entities.  And because of that you can never make someone love you.

Trust me, I’ve tried.

It reminds me of the idea that I can meet someone for the first time and know within seconds that we’ll be best friends.  But then I’ll know someone my entire life and never really feel close to them.  Yes, I’m the type of person to make annoying small talk.  I do it to be polite, even if it’s excruciatingly boring.

Basically, it comes down to this idea that you can really be friends with absolutely anyone.  You’d be surprised by how much you can have in common with a stranger.  You can talk for hours on end about your favorite television show or a good book, but they need to want to talk to you.  And you can love someone to the moon and back, but they need to want to love you.

They need to be excited to see you and take time to show you that you matter.  Otherwise, why are you even wasting your time on someone who doesn’t care for you.  I have this stupid rule in friendships.  I’ll be the first person to initiate a conversation, almost always, but if you don’t respond don’t expect me to try again.  It may be harsh but its a rule I’ve followed and a rule that he done me well for a good while now.  Because if someone wants to talk to you, they will respond.  And if someone cares about your friendship, they shouldn’t ignore you.

I’ve always found the idea of a guy chasing after a girl with little interest in him sickening.  This may be the influence of Korean dramas in my life this past summer but it just looks pathetic to me.  You’re painted this picture that a guy who comes close to stalking a girl is the model of true love.  It’s not.  It’s the model of being a stalker and needed a restraining order soon.

And maybe once in a while pining after someone you don’t know works.  But how much do you really want someone who never really loved you in the first place?  And who made you work for their admiration?

People make time for the people they love in their life.  Stop wasting your time on people who don’t make time for you.

Day 4: Your parents

(Photo credits: Manmadham Kesavan)

See those lovely faces up there?  Well those are my parents.  And today I will be telling all of you about the two most important people in my life.  I’m so tempted to also include my brother because I feel like he deserves a post, but unfortunately he’s my brother so I will not talk about him, at least for today.

Lets start off with my dad.  I’m a little upset that no one thinks I look like him, except for my nose.  I’ve always felt like my parents are very good looking people!  My dad is the lenient one, it’s almost as if my mom is the ying and my dad is the yang.  I’ve always been envious of the fact that my dad seems to be the one person I know who doesn’t care about what other people think about him.  He really doesn’t.  And I’ve always cared so much that it’s always bewildered me.  My dad is an engineer and I’ve always loved the fact that he’s not the type to brag.  I remember finding out he had an incredible memory and being really surprised.  And when I tried asking him about it, he denied it.  When I was younger I thought my dad was superman and that no problem was too big to solve.  If there’s one thing I know for sure about my dad is that I am one of the people he loves most in the entire world.  I am certain of it.  I love the fact that he can be silly but he can also be serious.

Now unto my mom.  My mom is a phenomenal human being and I mean this with the utmost sincerity.  She’s the type of person who if she only had a piece of bread to live on, she would give that piece to the person next to her.  My mom is my best friend and in many ways she’s a role model to me.  I aspire to one day do the things my mother was able to do and with just as much poise and charisma.  She encourages me to be more and want more every day of my life.  And showed me that I am far more capable than the limitations I put upon myself.  My mother is a nurse manager and the only person I know who can gracefully function on 3 hours of sleep.  She loves to garden, even if she’s not that great at it, and have a spectacular niche with making food.   My dad is lenient, but my mother is strict.  I remember forgetting to call her one day when I was at my dorm only to find 10 missed calls, voicemails and then texts from my brother.  Over the course of 24 hours, she thought I died.   Needless that was the last time I forgot to call my mom.

I love my parents for so many reasons and I find myself so grateful for having them in my life.  Whenever I really needed something, they have always been able to provide for me and more.  They graced me with amazing genes too!  (I’m just joking…or am I?)