Day 10: Something you’re afraid of

Writing these blog posts have really become this guilty pleasure of mine.  What greater indulgence than one’s own thoughts?  Anyway today I’ll be telling all of you about something that I am afraid of.

I remember living in my old house and being scared to death of the dark.  Not enough to make my parents get a night light.  (Do you really think my parents would have been okay with me wasting electricity on that thing, doubtful) But enough where some nights I would watch the shadows and cringe under my sheets, only nights I couldn’t really sleep to begin with.

Up until I was maybe five or six my brother and I slept in the same bed every night.  Our actual bedrooms were on the second story of the house but my mother wanted to make sure we were safe.  So we both slept in the guest room next to their bed.  Sometimes with my grandma. So you see, I didn’t really ever have to be afraid.  Because my big brother was sleeping right there next to me.

Luckily I am no longer afraid of the dark.  Thank God because now I have my own bedroom.  But I’m afraid of something much larger than lurking creatures that could kill me in the depths of night.  I’m afraid of failing.

I’m so afraid of failing.  Because even though I would love to believe that anyone is capable of anything, I struggle to realize that this isn’t always true.  This isn’t really all to realistic either.  I do believe that everyone holds their own unique talent which they can excel at when given the proper attention.

I’m just afraid that I haven’t realized what this talent is and I’m actually wasting away precious time doing something I cannot succeed at.  But luckily, I serve a God who can do the impossible.  So why can’t he work in me too?

I’m afraid of college and what it means if I struggle.  I’m afraid of trying my hardest and still doing poorly.  I’m afraid of pouring my heart in something, learning it was all in vain.

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You only fail when you *insert insightful ending*-26/365

so all picture are from deviantart.com unless indicated

OKAY…so that was a major FAIL of a title but I can’t remember that quote for the life of me, but somehow I know I want to write about it.

…that’s not weird at all.

I use “okay” as a transition a lot don’t I?  It’s funny because now that I’m forced to blog once a day, I’ve become more conscious than ever of my writing style.  I sound like a 5 year old.  [I’ll be HONEST].  But it’s okay because according to Stephen King’s On Writing if I hope to become a good writer I NEED to write [at a minimum] 1,000 words a day.  AND I’m already at 112 :O.

I don’t know why I was suddenly inspired to write about failure, I guess it was because of how far my blog has grown in 26 days.  I mean I checked my stats and I usually get a small handful of people a day [some days it can be as high as 40 but then be as low as 2].  I guess I can give a big HOORAY to my shameless advertising on Facebook and Gurl.com.

What’s really funny to me though is the fact that by now I would have normally quit.  By day 12 I was all for quiting but I wanted to see this promise through.  Even if I didn’t blog each day on time I still hope that by the end of this I have 365 entries.  This isn’t my first time blogging though.

I made one blog for daily verses with my insight into their meaning and forgot about it.  I went back to it a few months ago to find I had acquired 2 followers, sadly by then I had forgotten my password.  After that I was inspired by this teen blogger Clemintine to make my own blog about various topics.  The kind of things I would write about in my school newspaper. BUT I made 2 posts and ended it there.  It kind of amazes me how far I have come, I mean I only have 300 something views and on a large scale that is VERY sucky but still, even though I failed I finally persisted and saw the fruits of my work.

Today I want to focus on failure and the importance of not only learning from our failures but getting back up when we fall down.  SO many times I thought that if I failed at first that I could never succeed in that area again.  The reason for which I stopped practicing guitar and was against all standardized testing.  The whole idea of try try again never really stuck with me.

I don’t know who this post is for but if you are caught in a slump I urge you to keep trying.  Your efforts WILL be rewarded and the best results only come from the things that are HARD to do!  I know that I may fail again with this blog and with anything for that matter, but I will promise to get up when I fall and try try again.

See you tomorrow,

Nina

“It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights. He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great. You broaden the path beneath me, so that my ankles do not turn.”
Psalm 18:32-36

“The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call to the LORD, who is worthy of praise, and I am saved from my enemies. The cords of death entangled me; the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me. The cords of the grave coiled around me; the snares of death confronted me. In my distress I called to the LORD; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears.”
Psalm 18:2-6