Your hugs are way too intimate for me

I guess this kind of post would go into the “life” section of this blog.  I give awkward hugs.  This has been confirmed by almost all of my friends.  I was kinda shocked in all honesty.  I guess most people won’t tell you straight out that you’re awkward.  Well one of my friends did and this lead to me questioning all my friends.  I’m the type of person who sees a person going for a hug and turns it into a high five.  I think I know maybe 3 people who I actually like to hug, but other than that… I guess I’m neutral.  Well I was told that I gave awkward hugs so I decided to engage in more full on hugs instead of my usual side hug in hopes of being less awkward.

But first I asked one of my childhood friends to teach me why my hugs were awkward.  She told me I kinda do a weird pat on the back thing and reach for a full hug and suddenly turn it into a side hug.  I thought those were my ninja skills, apparently not.  But I practice and I learn how a normal… or close to normal hug feels like.

So I see a friend  Not even a friend really, an acquaintance.  The type of person I would normally give a “high-five” hug to.  But I’m trying to grow as a person so I reach for a full on hug.  Dude that hug was just way too intimate.  I remember pulling away and having said “friend” comment saying I was really warm.  What?  Why were you able to feel my body warmth?  Why did you choose to COMMENT on my body warmth.  Bleh.  I kind of made a nervous laugh and ran to class 20 minutes early.  Because obviously I would be late otherwise.  Obviously.

When did this become okay? What ever happened to the days where side hugs were cool?  Actually were they ever cool?  All I’m saying is that hugs are supposed to be brief.  And usually it’s nice to hug a friend.  I’m not into personal touch.  Well, I’m okay with it but I’m not as into it as some people out there are.

I love hugging people I’m really close to after not seeing them for a week or even months.  I love hugging a friend to show them that I’m always there for them and will always be there.  But I will totally reach for a hand hug for you people who I just do not feel comfortable with.

It is my right as a human being to give my grandma, side, and full on hugs to whomever I choose to give it to.

With that being said, except for this particular instance, I actually liked giving hugs more often and making myself a little uncomfortable.  Life is all about growth isn’t it?  Baby steps…?

Baby steps.