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This is one of the many wise things my Calculus professor has told me this semester, that and, “It all goes downhill from here!”.  Apparently she meant that second quote in a positive way, but at the time I was grasping for breathe in anxiety.  Today in almost 2 hours, I will be taking the final I have been waiting all summer session 1 to take.  And needless to say, I am freaking out.  Not too much, just on the inside a little bit.  And I’m at the place where I don’t want to look at any other practice questions and will probably just read over my formula sheet and notes.

With all that being said I couldn’t help but thinking over and over again to this particular thing my professor said.  Life is about the process and not the result.  Somehow we had gotten on the topic of cheating and people were arguing in defense of cheating.  It really makes me sick.  I try to not show it much when people mention they cheat, but it makes me feel so sick.  And I can’t wrap my head around how people are able to rationalize cheating in their minds.  But most of the time I just keep my mouth shout and just say I don’t like cheating, in fear of offending the person I’m talking with.

But in this case the people in my class were unrelenting.  Arguing about the actual use of calculus in everyday life and how they wanted to just fast forward to the final, take it and be done.  I’m so done with taking that motto of life.  Because I’ve passed by things too quickly waiting for new things to come.  So as I sit and wait for my test to begin, I am no longer looking at it as 2 hours of wasted time.  Its 2 hours I have to study and enjoy right before my final.

And more than anything I know that even if I get a letter grade which disappoints me, whether it be because I just didn’t study enough or was not prepared enough, that this grade does not define me.  And this course isn’t important because of the letter grade I’m assigned, but the journey it took me to get this grade.  That’s what it all comes down to at the end of the day.

Because up until this point, I’ve worked hard.  Maybe not as much as I should have, and maybe I did procrastinate a lot…like now.  But I also really enjoyed this class.  It was the first time I ever found math even a little bit interesting and realized that my arithmetic sucks with a capital s.

So I beg you, and urge you, please do not just race through your life.  Going from one task to the next, caring only about the grade you were assigned at the end.  Because all of this means so little in the grand scheme of things.  And life is always about the process, never just the result.

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