Day 10: Something you’re afraid of

Writing these blog posts have really become this guilty pleasure of mine.  What greater indulgence than one’s own thoughts?  Anyway today I’ll be telling all of you about something that I am afraid of.

I remember living in my old house and being scared to death of the dark.  Not enough to make my parents get a night light.  (Do you really think my parents would have been okay with me wasting electricity on that thing, doubtful) But enough where some nights I would watch the shadows and cringe under my sheets, only nights I couldn’t really sleep to begin with.

Up until I was maybe five or six my brother and I slept in the same bed every night.  Our actual bedrooms were on the second story of the house but my mother wanted to make sure we were safe.  So we both slept in the guest room next to their bed.  Sometimes with my grandma. So you see, I didn’t really ever have to be afraid.  Because my big brother was sleeping right there next to me.

Luckily I am no longer afraid of the dark.  Thank God because now I have my own bedroom.  But I’m afraid of something much larger than lurking creatures that could kill me in the depths of night.  I’m afraid of failing.

I’m so afraid of failing.  Because even though I would love to believe that anyone is capable of anything, I struggle to realize that this isn’t always true.  This isn’t really all to realistic either.  I do believe that everyone holds their own unique talent which they can excel at when given the proper attention.

I’m just afraid that I haven’t realized what this talent is and I’m actually wasting away precious time doing something I cannot succeed at.  But luckily, I serve a God who can do the impossible.  So why can’t he work in me too?

I’m afraid of college and what it means if I struggle.  I’m afraid of trying my hardest and still doing poorly.  I’m afraid of pouring my heart in something, learning it was all in vain.

4 thoughts on “Day 10: Something you’re afraid of”

  1. I’m not sure how old you are, but this post feels like a younger me wrote it 🙂 And now that I know what I know – which isn’t much, but is relatively more – let me tell you that you will fail, and that it’s okay to fail. You’ll obsess over it a little bit, but then you’ll shrug it off and march on a stronger person.

Tell me what you think!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s