Arranged Marriages: they do exist

An article I wrote a very long time ago in high school, let me know what you think!

When you think about arranged marriages what exactly comes to mind?  Some may imagine a young girl forced into marriage with an older man with no say or consent in the matter, but in many cases this is now untrue.  Danielle Limeri, a junior, is completely against arranged marriages “I don’t think it’s right that people think they have the ability to decide others futures for them. Marriage should be about committing to the one you love because you know you want to be with them forever. Not because your parents decided it for you.”  Junior Jacie Schneider holds a similar view as well, “its not love so it’s not real, marriage is for love nothing else”

For the purpose of this article many people included are from different areas found in Long Island, Sherin George, a junior at John F Kennedy High School in Plainview is one who holds a different view about arranged marriages “In my culture, arranged marriages are prevalent and have their upsides and their downsides.  But, I think that it is important to say that today, arranged marriage is under YOUR control.”  Christine Verghese a junior at Deer Park High School holds a similar view “That doesn’t mean, the child must accept or be forced into marriage, without their own opinion. Rather the parent and the child must accept the newest addition to the family.”

For the first marriages, 41% of people end up divorcing, meaning that a little less than half of all marriages end in divorce while the divorce rate among arrangedmarriages, only holds around 4%.  How exactly is it that something that is deemed “not real marriage” lasting longer than marriages that begin with love?  It may come down to how families are largely involved in arranged marriages.  Susan Mathew a freshman at Molly College understands how important family can be when deciding who your life partner is  “I feel Arranged marriages by parents have gotten so much more different than it was a long time ago….It is when parents find someone they feel is suitable for you, but ultimately the decision is your own…you truly learn to love someone for who they are. It is something that is honored in our culture, obedience to your parents, and to God. It also shows that you are honoring your parents decisions.”

Verghese parents have been married for many years and she believes this in part because of their arranged marriage “My parents relationship is still growing strong. It’s not to say it’s perfect, no marriage is. There are ups and downs, meltdowns but they each forgive each other…There is no option of divorce, thus they must always reconcile, and I AM thankful for that….”  Mathew holds a similar view “”My parents have a good relationship, a kind that others would envy, they are best friends who tell each other everything, have an unconditional love for each other and for their children though they may have some disagreements they know how to get along…”  George had listened to her own father’s insight into the topic upon many occasions as well “My father, his marriage being arranged, once told me, ‘When you meet someone and fall in love, by the time you get married you know each other, and the love is leveled, whereas from the moment I met my wife, I began loving her, and it grew day after day, and it still is.’ “

This modern and altered form of arranged marriage is compared to speed dating by George “I like to compare it to “speed dating.” When getting married, you have total say on who it is you will be married to, you have total say in how much time you want to get to know this person, and you have the total authority to call this wedding off. In a way, its just an easy way of meeting someone new, and finding out if this guy or girl is the one for you.”

Joshua Joseph a senior at The Bronx High School of Science believes that arranged marriages can be good but is now growing ineffective among many levels “Arranged Marriages work when one or both members of the marriage focus and prioritize the family first. However, in our society we often focus on ourselves so this system could never work.  Arranged Marriages wouldn’t work for most people living in Western Civilization.”

Many people hold a similar view to junior Brittany Georgalas “Arranged Marriages are ridiculous….”, but knowing that Mathew’s parents have been married for 19 years, and Joseph’s parents for 26 years and counting, maybe something about it really isn’t all that ridiculous.

Tell me what you think!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s